


I don't think I could write a song...

by wellexcuuuuuseme



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Gen, Music, disordered sleep, i don't really know how to tag this, jared saves the day by being a huge dork, just expect it to be goofy and off kilter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4182363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellexcuuuuuseme/pseuds/wellexcuuuuuseme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fill for "Somehow, Jared’s love/talent for acapella saves the day."</p>
<p>Russ has wild ideas, and mixed-up priorities. Jared tries to help Richard meet his expectations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't think I could write a song...

**Author's Note:**

> I asked for daisiestdaisy for a prompt and this appeared in me brain
> 
> continuity isn't real shhshhh
> 
> //yes the title is a Peter Gregory line from the first episode

Russ appeared like a California storm, which is to say he rarely brought anything of value. But he still always acted like he was the most important part of their cycle. Richard was busy trying to get pandemonium boxed away, he didn't have time to deal with gestures of commas and car doors.

"Hey. Hey." Russ tried to get attention like a chanting toddler. "You guys need a jingle."

"No, Mr. Hanne- euh- just we don't need a jingle." Richard was stressed enough with the reasonable and unreasonable. He did not need to add more absurd whims to his plate.

"Well, that's not true, since you do."

"We literally do not." He was hoping Erlich wouldn't hear this idea and run with it. Remember the logo thing? Yeah.

"Son, which of us has been a billionaire?" 

Richard sighed and he swore he could feel hatred in he exhale. Perhaps heartburn. They feel similar, and Richard's health wasn't exactly ideal.

"Ok, sir, tell me about your plan for a jingle."

"I want it to be powerful and intimidating, also gentle and supportive. Are you writing this down?"

"Oh," Richard grabbed around for paper and a writing utensil. "uh, no, sir. I've not been, but--"

"Good. Don't. Feel it. And don't call me sir. Are you feeling it yet?"

"You could stand to elaborate more."

"Powerful, supportive. Rich, as it should be."

"Do you mean rich like the adjective or Rich like my name? 'Cause the intonation was a little ambiguous."

"Obviously the farmer but both work for me if it gets those car doors opening like a seagull."

"Ok." Richard kept his sigh only semi-audible. He wanted to protest, and also correct him on saying farmer instead of former, but by now he knew his luck was nothing. 

Russ disappeared like free samples at a dirty grocery store. Quickly, not sorely missed, but leaving striking regrets of bringing them in in the first place.

# \--------------------------

"Richard what am I most needed doing right now?"

"H-- oh, hey Jared." Richard turned around to give a withering look that he hoped delivered a 'i'm really sorry about this' kind of message. "So there's, obviously, more relevant and urgent things we could be doing right now, but I'm wondering if you could help me make..." he trailed off for reasons unknown. Actually, the reasons were known. And obvious. This was a stupid shitty thing to ask of someone already stressed.

"Make what, Richard?" 

"Hanneman wants us to have 'a jingle' and i know you have some musical background so if you could even just give me advice on how to--"

"Yes of course I'll help you! Of course I will do that!" Jared was grinning and doing a poor job of hiding his radiating enthusiasm for the task. It sounds awfully grim, but Richard had forgotten what it was like to be around joy and momentary lack of stress. He had spent all morning wondering where to start. Could he scrape enough money together to pay someone to do the jingle; would it be too much of a time drain to do it in-house? He was so immeasurably glad to have someone to help him with the assignment, and to soothe such a vital person to the company. (and also soothe Russ Hanneman.)

# \--------------------------

"Do you have any thoughts about what you want the jingle to be like? Did Russ?" Jared asked expectantly, prepared to start planning and composing.

"He want me to feel it. And he wanted it to be powerful? and supported, i think. And rich, he said. I'm not exactly sure what any of that entails"

"Ok, rich harmonies, rooted lower tones, and powerful? I think I have some ideas. How are you at singing?"

"What? Uh, not great- hey what are you typing?"

"I'm planning."

"How long do we think this will take?"

"Not long, with the proper tools."

"Well, what tools do we have?"

"I'm using this site for notation and a different one for--"

"Why do you already have an account on this music site? Wait, why does it say you have a teacher's account?"

Jared closed the laptop calmly and was silent for a moment. "Don't tell anybody, please, but I lead an a cappella group at Foothill."

"Dude, that's actually so cool, why would we make fun of you for that?" Richard thought for a moment, "Actually Dinesh and Gilfoyle would make like 3 comments. 4 tops. And they would secretly think it's really cool the whole time."

"I'm not afraid of you guys knowing my interests, in fact you already knew I did a cappella in college, it's..." he trailed off. How could he phrase this correctly?

"It's what?"

"Los Altos Trills... they don't know i work for Pied Piper." it wasn't a question but Jared's intonation did go up at the end. 

"What." it was a question but Richard's intonation didn't go up at the end.

"I'm not embarrassed about working here! It's just... They think I still work at Hooli. I bring them stickers."

"Why do you have Hooli stickers?"

"I have a lot of stickers."

Richard was having a hard time processing what he was hearing. Not the stickers part, obviously, although it hurt him somehow to know that he was never offered a sticker. "Can they not just google your name?"

"They don't do that, really, no."

Richard genuinely had a hard time responding to that, and wasn't really sure what he was expected to say.

# \--------------------------

"I think I've got a basic structural skeleton, do you want to hear it?"

Richard had a vague idea of music notation. He could kind of play guitar, he was in the school band back in high school, that kind of stuff. But what Jared had put together made his jaw drop. The intricacies Jared was spinning in this short 15-second midi file were almost dizzying. "And this is just... a hobby for you? Jared, you could make money with this kinda shit." Richard's eyes were still held wide, dragging his brow down sit just above them. No number of blinks was releasing him from this look of shock.

"Or I could make money doing my job and enjoy this hobby on the side when I can. Do you not have anything you feel a passion for but leave to the side?"

"I used to."

"Well, why don't you anymore?"

"Because now it's my job, Jared. Pied Piper was my thing. And it still is."

"Pied Piper's my thing too, just as much as fussing with music is."

"If this" Richard pointed to the screen "is fussing then I've never been near as fussy as people said I was."

"Now, Richard, you are plenty fussy." he had meant it as a compliment but somehow it sounded like something else. "Or, uh--"

"Nevermind, I knew what you meant. So how hard is this going to be to record, or?"

Jared smile flecked with mischief. "I have some ideas."

# \--------------------------

"So, why do you want to record me making noises? Are you going to jerk off to this?" Dinesh was barely miffed about the request. More flattered, really, but he could not pass up such a chance to screw with Jared.

"It's for company resources."

"So you want me to moan into your tablet microphone for the good of the company." he was having a hard time not laughing at the thought.

"Yes- well, not moan, but make some noise. A happy noise? A powerful noise? Something I can use. Give me a few so I have stuff to work with."

Dinesh complied, Gilfoyle complied after about two minutes of protestation, and Erlich had volunteered much more than was needed from him. Getting anything from Carla was near impossible without explaining the situation. Monica was surprisingly easy to coerce into recording some things. Jeng-Yang offered some legitimately helpful tone balance.

Now all he had left to get was Richard. 

"Jared, I said I really can't sing."

"What do you think everybody else did? Also I don't need you to sing, I need you to shush me."

"Shush you?" Richard was more disturbed by the request than Jared had expected. "Why does that sound like I'll regret it deeply?"

"No, it's not whatever you're thinking. I need you to be a suspended cymbal."

"What?"

"Just shush me on tape, please."

"Not until you admit that sounds vaguely sexual"

"Ok sure. Asking you to shush me sounds like a kink of some sort."

After Richard's part was recorded, all he had to do was edit the pieces together. Which was promising to be a long night.

# \--------------------------

"Oh my god." Dinesh, floored by the morning's finished jingle, was the first to speak in reaction. Everyone else was a bit too shocked or a bit too tired.

"I love this! I love this! This is three commas content right here!" Russ was giddy and looked like he was going to give Jared a car or his wife or something else absurd. 

"Jared, I am not joking when I say I would fuck this song." Erlich sounded like he was almost crying. "I can barely hear any of what I gave you for this and I'm still so flattered. So proud to be involved in this."

"This is the shit I want to see more from you guys ok?!" Russ shouted as he left the room. 

"Ok that's quite nice of all of you but I think we're done here. Let's get back to work."Jared was ready to collapse after the amount of editing he had to do to get that song produced.

"Hey, Jared." Gilfoyle started, "I'm gonna ask you something serious."

"Yes?" 

"Can you do the Carmen Sandiego theme song?"


End file.
